Their responses were great, and I asked them if I could share them here on our blog. Some of them answer some specific questions members asked about exercise, eating out socially, and not giving in to emotional eating, but the most important thing they shared is how their lives have changed. I have to say, I was also touched by these responses. Sometimes I forget the role RFBC and myself play in helping the obese.
My favorite quote from all of them came from Beli:
...the ultimate sunshine in all of this is that I am the one who is creating this change. ...I see the how of the weight loss happening, and the how points back to me and the effort I put in. It makes me just want to give myself a huge HUG in thanks and tell myself how much I love me.
There's a lot here, so forgive us, but it is all worth reading: Beli is at the end, hers is the longest as she took time to answer all the other RFBC member's questions. Member questions are in red.
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Faith
Raw food has completely changed my life.
Yes I have lost the pounds. I am 1 pound over being halfway to my goal. I have done that in just under 4 months. I am not the only one. So me doing this is not a coincidence.
The pounds gone are but one aspect of my changed life. The clothes are smaller and more comfortable. I feel easy in my skin. I don't struggle to get dressed. I don't struggle period. When I wake up I am excited for the day. I can't wait to exercise. It is a time just for me and I work through lots of stuff while walking. I make important decisions and I smile often while walking. I know I am taking care of myself. I am showing myself how much I love me. It feels good to breathe hard. It lets me know I'm alive..Everyone around me benefits as well. They see the happy the confident the loving me. No more misery. I don't have time for that....No more EXCUSES....I don't have time for that....
I make choices now that serve me for my greater good. I know when I eat raw food it nourishes and cleans my body. When I ate processed foods in the past all they ever did was make me numb and fat. Not that I am out of that foggy existence I see clearly and CHOOSE to be happy....I CHOOSE to stay on program....I CHOOSE to exercise daily...I CHOOSE to love myself.....With each daily choice it becomes easier for this to become a daily habit.
I AM HAPPY....three simple words...but it describes exactly how I am now!! The anger that I held inside for so long is finding that it cannot live inside me anymore. The impatience that I held inside is finding that it cannot live inside me anymore. The judgement that I held for others inside for so long is finding that it cannot be comfortable anymore.
I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY...with that choice comes self love and love for everything around me. On my deepest level I am hopeful that everyone at boot camp and all people who suffer from being overweight find what makes them happy. When they do the weight loss gets easy....The exercise feels good. LIFE IS GOOD!!!
BEST DAY EVER BOOT CAMP!!!!!
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FreeSpirit
Read her blog at www.rfbcfreespirit.blogspot.com
Yes, it definitely has. My quality of life has improved in the fact that I can do so many more things now. Life is just easier. I dont hurt all the time, and Im much happier. I still have a day here and there, but overall my attitude toward life is much better. I can keep up with my 4 yr old who is HIGH energy. I can run with our puppy, I can physically work all day and not pass out with exhaustion and pain. And probably the biggest thing is the way I feel about myself. Now that I dont have the self-hatred, and my attitude has improved, other areas of my life seem to be falling into place. YaHOO!!
I admit that I do still have times where I fall and take a bite of this or that, but its never worth the stall in weight loss that I have to deal with later. I have learned that "just 1 bite" is the biggest lie EVER, because 99% of the time I can't stop at one bite. Especially salty foods. Its easier to just not take any bites. Its never been worth it. Dont let your fat brain trick you into thinking it will be. I want to eat healthy for the rest of my life!
Star & Pamango,
Managing the exercise is something I'm still not good at. I still struggle through it! But if I want to keep losing weight, I just do it. I admit that I hate exercising on machines. But that is my only choice at the moment. If I think about it too much, I won't do it. I just have to ignore my feeling toward it most days and get going. 9 times out of 10, getting started is the hardest part. After that its no big deal. And I'm ALWAYS happy I did it afterwards. There is no other feeling like at the end of the day, when you go to bed, and you know that you have exercised and stayed on plan all day and that you will weigh less the next morning!!
Have a wonderful day everyone!!
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BarreDancer (She does not share photos or have a blog)
BarreDancer reached her goal weight with 57 lbs gone last week.
I feel so much better physically. It started with being able to breathe better. I realize that I don't hold my breath as much anymore. I didn't know how much this affected me. I feel more relaxed and that actually helps me make better decisions about my food.
Carlene mentioned that I'm doing more ballet now. It's true. I've been taking ballet for a long, long time. But everything is so much easier now. There are steps I hadn't been able to do for years and I can do them now. The pressure and pain I had in my knees seems to be gone. It will take me some time to build up my strength again, but it's easier to to work through the positions so I can build that strength. When you're in a ballet class, you never get away from the mirror. It's always there. I hated to go to class and I stopped going for a long time because I had to face that mirror. I don't stay away anymore. I love my ballet classes again. I'm in my mid-50s and this joy has been brought back to me.
I love that I don't have to take long naps anymore.
I love that some of the things I started here in boot camp have become automatic. I didn't love the exercise part of this. But, since I set a specific time for it, something happens to me when 12 noon comes on weekdays. That's my time to walk or get on my rebounder. When I'm at work and in a meeting, I start to get antsy as the time approaches. If I'm at my desk and I think I need to do just one more thing, I don't. I go and do it. It's a weird feeling to have. I'm supposed to be somewhere doing this. I never imagined that would happen to me.
There are some small things that I've noticed. It's easier to cross my legs. I don't feel uncomfortable sitting in movie theater seats.
I think the biggest thing I have gotten from going through this and reaching my goal is the sense of accomplishment. I set this goal for myself. I struggled here and there. But I achieved my goal and I completed this. This is the first diet I've gone on that I've actually reached my goal. I do feel more empowered now. I find myself planning for other goals at home and at work. I know that by having a plan and sticking to my plan, I can achieve these new goals. That feeling is worth a lot. Knowing that I finally achieved this after years, decades of being overweight, then obese, is just huge.
It's easy to fight the rules and the process here at boot camp. Carlene talks about making a choice for better health. I had a conversation with a woman who had gastric bypass surgery a number of years ago. Just last week, she told me that she has maintained her weight because she accepted that she had to change forever. She can no longer eat the same quantity of food that she used to eat. It's very simple for her. ACCEPT the CHANGE.
On Exercise:
I've had times when I've gone off my plan too. The interesting thing is that it's never been for more than a meal. I get right back to my food plan with the very next meal. I think part of this is that after eating raw food, the old food that I enjoyed before doesn't taste as good as I remember it. But Carlene is right, you have to keep to your program long enough to get to this feeling. Even allowing yourself a little "cheat" meal once a week can disrupt that. In addition to the taste, I just don't feel as good with some of the old food. Some foods give me hot flashes. Some give me that sleepy feeling again. I just don't want that anymore.
I never loved the exercise. I would much rather do yoga or take another dance class. But neither of those give me the cardio workout that I need. I decided that I should concentrate on doing what I needed to do and when I reached my goal, I could do more of the stuff I really enjoy. It was much more important for me to work on exercising consistently. That was always my downfall. My goal for myself was to get myself to exercise every day. Before boot camp, I hadn't done that. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been surprised that when my scheduled time for exercise comes, I'm ready to just go do it.
I just started Maintenance last week, so it's still a new process for me. This was really scary for me. From the very beginning, I was worried about what would happen to me when I got to maintenance. I haven't gotten to the point yet of cooking my own food.
Gorgo, you asked about a weight that was a mental block. YES. I had that. Before I gained additional weight, 172 was my setpoint for a really long time. When I got close to that weight, I thought I would never get past it and I sabotaged myself by eating off my plan. But then, I decided to push through it. You know how we make those goals for each month? I finally made it my monthly goal to get past that weight. Seeing the weight on the scale and getting just 1 or 2 lbs below let me know that I could do it. This didn't just happen at 172. I had the same mental block a number of times. Just focus on your monthly goal.
I've also done a visualization when I'm walking. I visualize the number as I'm walking. I listen to music and I repeat the number in time with the music. That may be strange, but it seemed to get it into my brain.
Clpet, I've gotten the same comments from people. Sometimes, it starts with, "you've made great progress, are you going to stop losing weight now?" But, you are right, these people only know us as fat.
Exercise- i enjoy it, it was not a struggle for me to do the 2 hours. It is my time to get a bit of solace in the craziness of life. I enjoy pushing myself and divide the time into 2—1 hr walks. I find new routes if i am outside and if i am on the treadmill I listen to music and change the workout programs to change it up and push myself. I think it has to so with attitude and set of mind- if you hate it, it is hard to to do. If you accept it and try to think of the benefits you re getting, it becomes more enjoyable. i just know it is part of my life, and just do it.
I never loved the exercise. I would much rather do yoga or take another dance class. But neither of those give me the cardio workout that I need. I decided that I should concentrate on doing what I needed to do and when I reached my goal, I could do more of the stuff I really enjoy. It was much more important for me to work on exercising consistently. That was always my downfall. My goal for myself was to get myself to exercise every day. Before boot camp, I hadn't done that. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been surprised that when my scheduled time for exercise comes, I'm ready to just go do it.
I just started Maintenance last week, so it's still a new process for me. This was really scary for me. From the very beginning, I was worried about what would happen to me when I got to maintenance. I haven't gotten to the point yet of cooking my own food.
Gorgo, you asked about a weight that was a mental block. YES. I had that. Before I gained additional weight, 172 was my setpoint for a really long time. When I got close to that weight, I thought I would never get past it and I sabotaged myself by eating off my plan. But then, I decided to push through it. You know how we make those goals for each month? I finally made it my monthly goal to get past that weight. Seeing the weight on the scale and getting just 1 or 2 lbs below let me know that I could do it. This didn't just happen at 172. I had the same mental block a number of times. Just focus on your monthly goal.
I've also done a visualization when I'm walking. I visualize the number as I'm walking. I listen to music and I repeat the number in time with the music. That may be strange, but it seemed to get it into my brain.
Clpet, I've gotten the same comments from people. Sometimes, it starts with, "you've made great progress, are you going to stop losing weight now?" But, you are right, these people only know us as fat.
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KK
Read her blog at www.rfbckk.blogspot.com
I'm not sure how to put it all in words- my quality of life has improved by 100% on every level. I feel great physically being able to exercise and take on activities I never would have done well in otherwise in the fat suit. my mental clarity and my cardiovascular system seem "clean" for a lack of better description. it is like everything flows easier and I don't have a foggy brain. I am happier because i feel better about myself and my outlook on life is better because i can DO things instead of hiding in the background. I am an active strong woman who can keep up and don't get the mid afternoon slump anymore. My true self is emerging as the fat suit bites the dust. I can't say enough about how much better i feel, and the program is easy, it's enjoyable and worth every struggle in retraining my fat brain. I don't feel like i am on a diet, it is a lifestyle and a part of who i am now.
Exercise- i enjoy it, it was not a struggle for me to do the 2 hours. It is my time to get a bit of solace in the craziness of life. I enjoy pushing myself and divide the time into 2—1 hr walks. I find new routes if i am outside and if i am on the treadmill I listen to music and change the workout programs to change it up and push myself. I think it has to so with attitude and set of mind- if you hate it, it is hard to to do. If you accept it and try to think of the benefits you re getting, it becomes more enjoyable. i just know it is part of my life, and just do it.
The biggest motivator for me to lose the weight and keep it off was an internal choice, no more fat suit. I am done, it isnt me. When I think of myself, i don't visualize the fat me, i am always fit and active so it was time to actually match that. i also have 2 small kids who need a mom who can run jump and play with them and not sit on the couch. I want to be an example of health in fitness and good food choices for them and the rest of my extended family. Some of you know, my dad had open heart surgery on valentines day this year. It was a huge eye opener of the direct cost of poor lifestyle choices. He also had some genetic issues that needed to be corrected but a double bypass is about lifestyle- I NEVER want to see myself or anyone i love go through what he went through. I will never forget the feeling after seeing him post-surgery where I was not sure if I should throw-up or cry. I don't want to forget that feeling either because it helps me with my good food choices. There are horrible costs to lazy food choices and not exercising. I refuse to have any of them and that keeps me motivated! It's not about thinking every day i am on a diet, it's about thinking everyday, I am fueling my body with nutrients it needs, not making it work hard trying to digest junk.
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Jess
Read her blog at www.rfbcjess.blogspot.com
My biggest obstacle losing weight was when I got to 160 lbs, a weight that I always felt great at before & put me in a size 8. Carlene organized raw challenges to motivate me to lose the rest of the weight & to make the 100 lbs gone in 7 months. Maintainence was hard at first because I didn't know that all my old favorites wouldn't be a regular part of the menu anymore. I had told myself that I could temporarily give them up to get the weight off. Now I realize that they just don't leave me feeling food. I'm motivated now to tighten my body, stay in size 4/5 & reach a whole new level of fitness.
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CB
Read her blog at www.rfbccb.blogspot.com
Has the quality of your life increased enough to be worth all that you have given up to lose your weight?
Heck, YEAH!
Quality of Life Improvements
These are just a small list of improved quality of life things I've noticed that has taken place since coming to RFBC.
Oh, and Tony says he thinks women who exercise are sexy...
Uhmmmm...hahaha...maybe that's why he goes to his gym so much
Yes, this experience has been all worth the challenge to overcome overeating and not exercising.
Heck, YEAH!
Quality of Life Improvements
- I can cross my legs and put on my shoes! without struggling to keep my ankles on my tights as I pull on my shoes!
- I can bend down and touch my toes.
- I love to stretch my back out and I can do that so much easier now.
- Speaking of my back, well, need I say that the constant lower back pain is gone!
- My booty, now shrunken, isn't so humongous that it creates a huge space between it and the bed, so I'm now lying more flat to the bed and that helps my spine stay aligned!
- My inner tights, well, they don't rub together causing chaffing like they did on Jan. 30, my first actual day at camp!
- I sleep better...when I get into bed earlier. Feel better the next day.
- My old clothes are too big and now I have an excellent excuse to buy new ones!
- I stomach has shrunk and now notice that it takes less content to fill it!
- I am so like on hyper alert these days to all the bad stuff I once ate and I think: "What was I thinking?"
- I read labels now (I still buy food for the family). I NEVER...or more correctly...I rarely looked at a label.
- The entire family is on board and is eating healthier! I must shop constantly to get fruit and veggies back into the fridge!
- I look and feel so much better!
- The fat rolls on my neck are POOFF! gone!
- My hands look younger, thinning down.
- My feet are like 100% better feeling compared to pre-RFBC
- I take stairs like I own them now, not a battle walking up stairs. Still need improvement on this, but oh, so so much better.
- Breathe better.
- Mind is clearer.
- My earlier walks from home to the end of Central Park (from 132nd St to 57th St.) use to take a little over 2 hrs. Now, I find that I hit 57th St. before 2 hrs are up and I have to keep walking to total that 2-hr walk! Who knew?!!! I originally thought I'd miscalculated my time, but no I am walking more effortlessly and faster, too!
- I tend to take more care in grooming. Bought one of those circular facial brushes and now exfoliate my face and boy it looks great.
- Finding it fun to overcome obstacles, like forcing my brain to figure out how to not have to put two to three band aids on nearly each toe before nearly each walk. The solution: TOE socks! Love' em!
- Found a great walking shoe as a result of the above item: Keen's. Love 'em! It they come out with a dressy pair, I'm on them. Will wear to a wedding if I'm that bold, that's how comfy they are.
- And, this list can go on and on and on...
These are just a small list of improved quality of life things I've noticed that has taken place since coming to RFBC.
Oh, and Tony says he thinks women who exercise are sexy...
Uhmmmm...hahaha...maybe that's why he goes to his gym so much
Yes, this experience has been all worth the challenge to overcome overeating and not exercising.Great question, HBO.
My Biggest Obstacle Staying Focused and Not Giving Up?
Me. I'm my biggest obstacle. So, knowing this I've had to take radical approaches to this journey. Here are a few extreme conclusions I've come up with to help me not let me sabotage my plans and goals and to keep me exuberant about camp and this endeavor to drop my fat suit:
One, I believe that the fact that I paid in full for the 8 month sessions helped me. I don't like to waste money, so I knew if I invested that three-digit number in this raw food boot camp thing then I was going to stay. Period!
The other is that I came here already with a made up mindset. I knew I'd fall and eat off plan. I knew there would be days I did not want to do that walk. I knew I'd feel ... lust...after my fave foods ... and I did. But, coming in the door to RFBC, I also knew I was here to say and see this through.
We hire Carlene to help keep us focused. There is no way that I would be where I am today if it were not for having a coach, like I have in Carlene. I'd still be eating my Senegalese fave, Mafi, on a bed of white rice and licking the peanut tomato and oil fat plate clean with French bread and downing this all with the most sweetened African drinks. So heavy with sugar that the straws stands up in the glass and you can take the one-serving and dilute with water and make a tall glass for four to six other people! That is what I'd still be doing if I'd not gotten Carlene to coach me through this most challenging goal.
Having a family rallyin' along side me!
Wanting it so badly I can taste it...and my taste buds are so improved these days that the taste lingerings on my tongue wanting more more more.
Looking deeply at what advice Carlene gives me. Once she pointed out that my exuberance had begun to wane. What? She don't know what she's saying, I thought. How could she say that? I'm still as excited about all this as I was on the first day. But, I forced FORCED myself to look at what she said without rejecting it and seeing where she was correct. She was. And, I even wrote about this on my blog and the writing helped me to come to terms with what Carlene had said. Then, I began to put two and two together and matched her comment to what Beli and Faith were doing and I came up with my own mini plan. That's when I realized yes I was excited about the beginning of camp turning soon, in seven months, to the end goal of dropping 100 pounds. But, I hadn't taken time to create an in-between goal with matching mini plans to help me see each and every single day as an exciting journey. I was just off and running. Now, I can see each day connected to the last one and that pulls me along, keeping me on point and excited.
I tell everyone I meet about my weight management results. I send everyone on my email list my blog when I've updated it. This way I KNOW I must keep pluggin' on! Otherwise, if I stopped all these people would wonder what happened and then I'd still be obese explaining why I'd quit.
And, the biggest ,most key-est, reason of them all is that I have stopped allowing my ability to become discouraged by what others think or say. The older I get the wiser I become. The wiser I become the more resolve I have. One person in my life who can upset my apple cart with a misplaced word and send me flying like a super sonic jet to food is my husband. His opinion of me matters so much that if he sees me in some negative light I'm crushed and BAM! here comes the overeating. I've trained myself to stop letting this impact me. This behavior had to stop; it was ruining me, controlling me. It took lots of cognizant action and reaction to change this behavior. I've stopped allowing my Fat Brain part of me to sabotage my goal. I don't let myself lift up a man, not even my dear dear spouse, lift up another human's impressions of me so high and so righteous to the point that their words matter so much that I go a-hunting for Mafi and pizza and Coke and ice cream and so on. No one is better than myself and v.s. We are humans, all of us, with our own special brands of challenges in life.
We must find ways to guard our hearts so that we don't have excuses to let what others say, do, think, about us to make us run to food. Look deep and find what works for you. I'm constantly searching for ways to better my outlook, my mindset and to keep me on track. This doesn't mean that all I've written doesn't sometimes fall through to the ground, but oh Sisters and Brother, I pick it back up off the ground, blow off the dust and keep truckin'. You all help me do this, keep going.
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CLPet
There is no comparison - what I've rec'd from the RFBC lifestyle and what I've had to give up.
Physically I feel good and look good, I am having fun looking younger than I am and getting compliments and shopping for normal sized and cute clothes. I never thought of myself as being physically able to do anything. Walking for 2 hours is such an accomplishment. I feel so proud of myself for doing that. I am stronger, more flexible, have more stamina and more energy. I used to not care what I looked like or what I would wear, now I like to look nice and dress nice. Sex is a lot more fun:)
I always struggled with depression, low self esteem. Depression is not my lifestyle any more - and it was for most of my life, since a teenager. I feel more calm and more relaxed, not so stressed. I am not self conconscious, so I can actually enjoy activities and people, laughing, having fun and living life. I am more involved in living life than I have ever been - in relationships and activities. I am enjoying life.
RFBC made me relax more about making mistakes and not being perfect. I always felt if people really KNEW me, they would reject me. But in this community, I feel like I can be myself and none of you reject me. I actually feel like you care and accept and appreciate me for who I am. I don't have to hide here.
I am doing things now that I never tried before. I always wanted to do something more in the health and wellness field. Me and another woman at church initiated something for our church members - it is being fun and who knows what will happen out of it - we are planning a kind of mini health store that hopefully will be functioning by fall.
My mental and spiritual self feel so much clearer. I feel so much more alive.
The walking is not always easy - but something that I just do. I like that Jess said after doing 2 hours, going down to 1 seems like nothing. I do enjoy the time by myself - and it is something that I am doing for myself and no one else. And I feel like I accomplish something when I do it. I feel healthy and strong.
The eating is easy, when I don't deviate. But when I have, it takes days to get back to mentally, physically, emotionally flowing along with raw. But I feel so great when eating raw. When I have had other stuff, I really don't feel as good - I am more tired and sluggish, and just end up focusing and obsessing more about food and feeing bad about myself. And I don't focus on or enjoy living life. And isn't that why we are here? To live life?
The distraction thing is key - finding things that break your mood and focus on food,and things that you enjoy doing. And using those whenever you need to.
Also being clear about what you REALLY want, what is really important to you - and taking time to rehearse those things to yourself. I have just sat and remembered how I felt before starting this journey, remember the pain - physical, mental, emotional - that I experienced. Then think about where I am now. How could I go back to that? I was so miserable.
Biggest obstacle - my own thinking about myself. But Raw and walking has changed so much how I think about myself. It literally changes how you think and feel - as long as you just keep with it. It's a journey like everything else, and a journey that doesn't end, but just keeps getting better and better. Can't wait to see where I will be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually by the end of this year. I have grown so much in this process so far.
Dream - don't worry about not being there yet. I don't think any of us are there every single day or all the time. But mostly. Also I remember it taking some time. For me, I think I noticed BIG changes after about 3-4 months - and those changes in my thinking and emotions would be more dominant than the old. A lot of smaller changes at first, but they snowball into something wonderful.
Also the thing I noticed about balancing was I had to come first in my thinking. Kind of like on an airplane - put your own oxygen on first, then help others. I needed to help myself first, so I could help others. It was a change in how I did things. I usually always put myself last before - so it was a change. And I let things go, and still do - housework, things that don't havbe a deadline many times are still undone. But I'm okay with that. It's a choice I made. Also, asking for help - from family and others. And saying NO to doing things you don't have time for. This is like a second job, so other things have to go. Now I find I make more time for the things I want to do, and the other things wait.
How do you handle social situations like going out to eat, having dinner with friends? In most cases you are the only one who eats this way. How do you maintain your new eating style when your spouse, family, and friends don't follow the same thing?
I, like Beli, will find restaurants that have stuff I can eat. And I always take my own salad drsg. I have even brought fruit into a restaurant to eat.
When I go to dinners, I bring my own stuff and eat while the others eat their dinner. Same at home - if we have family or friends over - I make my own stuff and just eat different than everyone else. I have found most people don't care what you eat. It doesn't bother them in the least. I focus on conversation, getting others to talk about themselves, and just enjoy being with people. In a group, I often will seek out a baby to hold:) I love doing that, you are involved and not around food. The parents appreciate it too, as they can sit and eat with everyone. Of course if eating out, NEVER go hungry. Find something you can drink, and sip on that (water with lemon, tea, etc). I always keep extra fruit in my purse (apple, pear), so if things go long and I get hungry after eating, I have it with.
gorgo - I think I am at that weight now. I didn't have a number to it, but I started feeling good where I am at and don't feel as driven. Things that are helping me - don't get complacent. Push yourself harder in excercise. And dream about smaller clothes sizes. I always had smaller clothes sizes at home that eventually I would get into. I don't have any smaller sizes in my house now, and as I'm writing this I'm thinking "I need to go buy some pants that are too small and work to get into them". I may just go do that:) Also the thing, of doing something I have never done before (ie - getting that thin, wearing that small of a size) intriques me. I never thought it was for me. Now I am thinking, why not? There are always people who say - "you need to stop losing weight", "your're so skinny", etc. But in reality it's not true. I always see a lot of poeple much thinner and that is never an issue with them. These people just know us as fat, so as we lose weight we seem too skinny. But as they get used to our new size, it won't be that way anymore - at least for the people we are around more often. I finds that at work. Now people are more used to me thinner. They would probably be shocked if I showed them a before picture - haha. Carlene says she keeps a before picture on her refrigerator - that's a good idea.
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Beli
Read her blog at www.rfbcbeli.blogspot.com
I may not always enjoy the process, but I am so very grateful for what it has given me. It’s like life. We may not always enjoy painful times, but often – after the time to get through them and heal -- we can appreciate the lessons they’ve taught us. This past month, I feel like I’ve really been tested. Nothing changed externally, but suddenly all the smells and sights of tempting food around me were magnified. I would go out for my evening walk, and I would smell someone barbecuing or smell someone’s delicious dinner. I saw my family eating regular food and want it. I had to force myself out of bed after 5 hours of sleep to get 60-75 minute morning walk in, and I really had to force my body. There have been times when I feel like I’m pushing hard with my exercise and look down at my heart rate monitor only to find it says my heart rate is only in the low 120’s. After several repeats of that in the same workout, there are times when I want to do unspeakable things to my heart rate monitor. So, I get that this program requires a lot of effort. I am not trying to downplay that at all. It’s just that the payback has been significant for me.
The payback isn’t necessarily big and dramatic. It’s little things but a multitude of them across different areas that add up to a big payoff. Of course, there’s the obvious result of the change in how I look, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many moments when I just feel grateful now for what I am experiencing. I walk up the stairs, and I don’t feel winded. Hallelujah! I think about getting dressed up and going out somewhere, and I’m actually excited to go rather than worried about how I’ll look and wanting to avoid the whole situation. My daughter has a school project that involves taking pictures in of her family, and I look for recent photos of us rather than trying to foist off pictures of us together as a baby (when I last liked how I looked) or try to send her with photos of other family members. She never acted ashamed, but I always felt ashamed for her of the way I looked. I may be feeling tired when exercising and just want to stop or slow down, but I tell myself, “Just a few more feet… walk at this pace until you hit the end of the street.” Then I get there and push my limit a little more and a little more until I’ve gone further than I thought possible at a pace I didn’t think I could sustain. Yes, it can be tiring and leave me out of breath, but it feels good to know I can accomplish that. I’m out on my walks, and I find myself adjusting my clothing less because clothes fit me more like they are supposed to now. I put on moisturizer or sunscreen, and I notice that my skin feels soft and smooth – love the feeling! There are so many of these little “sunshine” moments that I could go on and on and on. But the ultimate sunshine in all of this is that I am the one who is creating this change. It goes without saying that I couldn’t do this without Carlene or the help of all of you, and I am really appreciative of all the support and advice. Unlike my fantasies though, I see the how of the weight loss happening, and the how points back to me and the effort I put in. It makes me just want to give myself a huge HUG in thanks and tell myself how much I love me. I always thought that I did love myself, but now that love feels smaller compared to how I feel about myself now
So ladies, how did you manage with the exercise?
When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is get dressed in my exercise clothes and go for my morning walk. There are days when I just *want* to stay in bed and put it off, and I have been known to linger and start late, but I don’t ever let myself put it off too long. I just treat it as something I have to do, like taking a shower or getting dressed for work. It’s non-negotiable. Sometimes, life gets complicated with scheduling, so on those days, I have to make sure that I plan how and when I’m going to do my exercise. If I don’t plan for it up front, it can be problematic getting it in, so I make sure to plan for it rather than trying to figure out how to fit it in after the fact.
During my walks, I listen to music – preferably upbeat songs. It makes the experience so much more enjoyable, and sometimes I catch myself almost bopping along. I think of my walks as "me time" and let my mind wander to whatever I want to think about or dream about. I try to keep from thinking or worrying about the rest of the day. That can be done at anytime. i don't need to waste "me time" on that. I do my walking outside now because I get to enjoy the sun and beautiful weather (for a little while longer anyway until it gets too oppressively hot.) I tend to walk in more “interval” type levels – pushing myself hard and then backing off for a rest – with making my average in my target heart rate zone. When I’m feeling especially tired or sore during the walk, I tell myself to go just a little further at a fast pace. I try not to think about the full hour or two hours but break it down into the next little segment.
How do you deal with your fat brain/inner brat on those really crappy days. I know FS said she had bites that were off plan, but how to keep those bites from becoming meals, and days, and who knows what?
I do have to agree that distractions work. I think that when I get tempted, it’s like I feel this sense of compulsion that is driving me to just focus on food, so I try to find ways to break that loop. There are days though when shame seems to be the only thing that works. Maybe that’s a personal thing though and comes from my Catholic upbringing. A couple of weeks ago, I went off plan and had some popcorn at the movie theater. I don’t even really like popcorn that much. Then I was pissed that I wasted my “fall” on popcorn. My FB told me that if I was going to have to come back and face the music, I should make it worth it and go out and have something I really enjoyed. I knew I should post an SOS, but I didn’t want to. I was planning out how I was going to go out and get the foods I wanted, and I kept coming back to my family finding out I was sneaking out to break plan and how disappointed they would feel for me. I really felt ashamed of how I was planning that and how important I was letting food become... well, not entirely about food. There was a big part of it that was emotional. Once I admitted how ashamed that would make me feel, it helped me realize that the food and the experience of it wasn’t what I really wanted. Afterwards, I told my family about my moment of weakness. It helped to admit it to be able to move past it and also I know I have their support (and they will question me) if the situation ever arises again. I’ve done a similar kind of shame tactic to myself but using RFBC team mates in place of family.
Looking back on your weight loss journey, what was your biggest obstacle staying focused and not giving up? How have you been able to stay motivated?.
Well, I’m really looking in the middle of my weight loss journey, so this is difficult to say. I do have to agree with CB though. It helps that I fully committed to the plan by paying for it all up front. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to finally accomplish becoming thin and fit. I don’t want it 5 or 10 years from now. I want it now… this year. Basically, I just had to feel like I was going “All In.” Otherwise, it would have been too easy for me to walk away. Now, if I think about walking away, I can’t just tell myself that I’m not really losing anything and that I wouldn’t have lost the weight anyway. If I walk away, I would be losing the money I put in, and that’s too much of an investment to walk away from. I know that's not possible for everyone, but maybe you can find some other way of going all in. Another thing that has helped me is to give myself a deadline. I made plans to go on a cruise in October right after my birthday. I have never been on one, and I want it to be the best experience possible, so I really want to be at my goal weight then and to be in maintenance by that time. It won't be the end of the world if I'm not, but when I think about going off plan, it helps me to say that I can't if I want to be thin for my cruise. Plus, now I’ve grown accustomed to my daily doses of my RFBC teammates. I can’t imagine what a weekday would be like without starting it out with Carlene’s cheerful voice welcome us back to another day of boot camp. I know that I’ll get the chance to read Faith’s sunny posts and hearing her sweetly wish me and everyone else the best day ever (and she really means it.) I’ll get to read CB’s insightful, artistic, and humorous posts. Being here makes my world better.
Dream, you're a teacher, right? What would you do if you found out one of the students in your class was doing something destructive (drinking and driving, hurting themselves) because they were emotional over a difficult situation (parents' divorce, painful breakup)? Would you tell them that it's okay because they're going through a difficult time, and it helps them feel something different? Would you suggest they stop it, recommend they talk to a counselor, or do something to get them to try to change their behavior because you recognize that what they're doing is really just hurting them? The latter is the kind of reaction we need to take with ourselves when we're feeling emotional and turn to food to help. I like the audio where Carlene compared it to a bratty kid at the supermarket and the mother who gives into her demands to keep her from throwing a tantrum. It's a similar kind of thing. You need to sit down that part of you that says you need the food to help you deal with the emotions and have a gentle but firm, loving talk with her. Ultimately, does the food really help the emotions? Does it make the situation better? I've never heard anyone say that it does. Maybe it gives some temporary comfort, but then when that's over, the situation and emotions are still there, and they may be worse if you end up feeling guilty or depressed over emotional eating. Instead, the best thing for you long term is to find some healthy way to deal with the emotions that isn't based on food. Some people find that talking to others about the emotions helps. I personally have found in the past that writing about it works. Whether it's on the computer or on paper, I can be as honest and emotional as I want and get it out of my system. If I stop, and I still feel the same way, then likely I have more to write and haven't vented enough. I hope that you find what works for you.
How do you balance out the time you need to take care of your families, get your exercise in, take care of posts, audios, logs and blogs along with any other work you may bring home with you? I know that something has to give as you re-prioritize.
I'm pretty fortunate because I have help at home, or this would certainly be a lot more challenging. In my experience, the balancing and juggling does seem to get better with time (at the end of month 2, I finally felt like I had really hit my stride), but there are still certain times when it's very challenging. I tend to -- as you can see from today's messages -- write longer posts, so between the blog, posts, walking, and everything else, time sometimes gets away from me. There are days when I have to tell myself to just keep it short. I tend to not take a lunch break at work. Instead, I use that time to listen to my audio and participate in the forums or write my blog while I eat my food at my desk. Last week was personally the most challenging timewise for me. My commute time was 1.5 hours per day. I was working 10-12 hour days. Add in 2 hours of walking, and that leaves 8.5 - 10.5 hours for sleep, blogs, participation, and family time. I tried to keep my blogs and participation more concise. I had a bit less sleep per night. I didn't spend much time with my family, but I tried to make what time I did have count. I even got creative one day and was able to tether my cell phone to my laptop to get Internet on the drive in and listen to my audio then... making the most of my commute time. I did drop the ball and miss an hour of walking one day, but overall I was able to adjust. Fortunately, my family is very understanding because they want me to be thin and healthy, and they know this is a temporary thing. I'll always have a level of walking to do, and I'll always be watching what I eat, but I won't always have the daily blog, 2 hours of walking, and everything else on a daily basis, and that will mean more flexibility. I think I also am much more liberal in using my red "time management" pen. I look at what I have to do for the day and figure out if it's really necessary. If so, what level of effort is appropriate? I would love to be the best at everything, but that's not realistic, so as you said, it is sometimes about figuring out what has to give.
How do you handle social situations like going out to eat, having dinner with friends? In most cases you are the only one who eats this way. How do you maintain your new eating style when your spouse, family, and friends don't follow the same thing?
I think Jess and Faith do this like pro's, so maybe they can chime in. I try to be prepared by knowing restaurants in areas I'm likely to eat where I can get fruit bowls and/or salads. Often times, my friends and family are indecisive and open to my suggestions of a place to eat, so I'll suggest a place where i know I can eat easiest. If the event is pre-planned, or they've chosen a restaurant not on my list, then I'll do a bit of research. Many restaurants now have their menus online, so I'll look to see if they have something I can eat -- as is or with modifications. Many times, the salad selection has so many things that would need to be removed that the salad would be no more than lettuce and tomatoes. However, I've found all the restaurants I've been to have been willing to modify things -- like use one salad as a base, removing all the items I can't have, and adding items I can from another salad. They may charge a little more to do it, but most of the time, they don't. I take my own dressing along pre-measured in a small well-sealed container and get my salad without dressing. If they have fruit bowls, sometimes I'll just order two of those. Finally, if I find I really can't eat anything there, and I think it will be difficult to be around the tempting food, I consider whether or not I really want to go. I haven't been in that situation often, and it's never really been an event I want to go to. I'm not sure I could sit there with everyone eating around me and not be tempted to eat something... maybe if I were to eat until I was full beforehand.
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I think Jess and Faith do this like pro's, so maybe they can chime in. I try to be prepared by knowing restaurants in areas I'm likely to eat where I can get fruit bowls and/or salads. Often times, my friends and family are indecisive and open to my suggestions of a place to eat, so I'll suggest a place where i know I can eat easiest. If the event is pre-planned, or they've chosen a restaurant not on my list, then I'll do a bit of research. Many restaurants now have their menus online, so I'll look to see if they have something I can eat -- as is or with modifications. Many times, the salad selection has so many things that would need to be removed that the salad would be no more than lettuce and tomatoes. However, I've found all the restaurants I've been to have been willing to modify things -- like use one salad as a base, removing all the items I can't have, and adding items I can from another salad. They may charge a little more to do it, but most of the time, they don't. I take my own dressing along pre-measured in a small well-sealed container and get my salad without dressing. If they have fruit bowls, sometimes I'll just order two of those. Finally, if I find I really can't eat anything there, and I think it will be difficult to be around the tempting food, I consider whether or not I really want to go. I haven't been in that situation often, and it's never really been an event I want to go to. I'm not sure I could sit there with everyone eating around me and not be tempted to eat something... maybe if I were to eat until I was full beforehand.
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